Monday 17 May 2010

While you were working...

Log onto Gaydar chat on a Monday afternoon shortly after 1.30pm and it's so fascinating to plunge yourself into another world.

I'm sat at home with Sky News on, having lunch and outside the birds are tweeting.

Within five square miles of me, hundreds of thousands of people are sat at their desks or in a Pret queue, typing Word documents or on the phone.

While London carries on as normal on an given Monday...

[nevergohungry]young cute guy looking for someone to fuck him in front of an older gentleman for £200 now... be hot, be hung, be good with your hands and don't be too short :-)
[esandwhizz]nr Tott Court Road - pvt ok Bottom for Top - accom NOW - chem session
[esandwhizz]nr Tott Court Road - pvt ok Bottom for Top - accom NOW - chem session
[esandwhizz]nr Tott Court Road - pvt ok Bottom for Top - accom NOW - chem session
[fitbttm4top]HUNG TOPS WANTED THIS PM
[fitbttm4top]HUNG TOPS WANTED THIS PM
[platts>CAMDEN/EUSTON TRAVEL ONLY
[kram22]wanting to suck cock good
[esandwhizz]nr Tott Court Road - pvt ok Bottom for Top - accom NOW - chem session
[old_etonian]WESTMINSTER AREA MEET NOW? GAGGING TO SUCK AND RIM A GUY!!!!!!!!!!!
[cumnside]DOORS OPEN. CUM IN AND WATCH ME GETTING FUCKED
[kram22]wanting to suck cock good
[frogmarch]HORNY BOTTOM BITCH NEEDS TO BE USED - W4
[frogmarch]HORNY BOTTOM BITCH NEEDS TO BE USED - W4
[frogmarch]HORNY BOTTOM BITCH NEEDS TO BE USED - W4
[frogmarch]HORNY BOTTOM BITCH NEEDS TO BE USED - W4
[ezaro28mad]hello everybody
[wolveskitlad]Any active dom top for a scally sub into footie kit, lycra gear and tights well up for cp, bondage, rubber, ws, bc etc - got cam + poppers gaggin please pvt me
[rainbow1963]Hi guys, I can accom now in Bethnal Green
[blondgeza]22 BLONDE HAIR BLUE EYES CAN ACCOM GANTS HILL LOOKING TO SUCK A GUY OFF TO COMPLETION!
[blondgeza]22 BLONDE HAIR BLUE EYES CAN ACCOM GANTS HILL LOOKING TO SUCK A GUY OFF TO COMPLETION!
[blondgeza]22 BLONDE HAIR BLUE EYES CAN ACCOM GANTS HILL LOOKING TO SUCK A GUY OFF TO COMPLETION!
[bottom_stockwel]any1 to milk in my throat now hi guys hot gym in stoclwell area looking for hot cock to milk - meesage me for more - msn cam / video av

The messages just keep on coming, faster than anyone can read them. Like the Victoria Falls, an endless cascade. Offers, some of them clean, most obscene. A sign how desperate things are on a Monday?

And I bet that, not 50 metres from "heavy cummer central looking to get fucked" there is someone in a McDonalds putting mayonnaise on their beef burger.

Such is the way in London.

Wednesday 12 May 2010

My Fabulous Life Pt 1

Hanging out washing is such an unenviable task. Thank god I have someone to do it for me.

That's what I plan to say to be able to say to myself in the next few years.

I want my motto to be Vini Vino Lamborghini. Or rather; I came, I drank, Lamborghini.

Now that I am nearly 32 I have decided to live life fabulously. That's also my motto. In Vivo Fabulosa.

This fabulous will manifest itself with smoked salmon in the fridge, a mirrorball in the toilet and cupboards overflowing with Armani.

There will be no loo roll, there will be silk scarves by Salvatore Ferragamo. Wipe your bum with silk and flush it down the bog - I don't care.

I will fill the bath up with Dom Perignon and piss in it. The champagne I haven't used, I will drink from my patent leather Pradas. What we don't drink from, we bin.

Photo books from Phaidon I will buy and use as firewood in the BBQ on the terrace and on it we will create a bonfire using Chippendale desks, £50 notes and Chanel No. 5.

We'll collect civil war-weary Kalashnikovs and hang them on the wall. Our necks will glisten with diamonds sourced by bloodied 4-year-old slave children in Sierra Leone.

We'll used the skull of Emperor Bokassa as an ashtray, while we're slumped in our gold-leaf Colombostile chair vomiting into the glass of 52-year-old Macallan single malt.

In Scotch Vommo.

Bring me another slave. Paint my nails with the blood of virgins. Don't change the channel on the TV - throw it out of the window at the poor people below.

Financially poor, morally poor, aesthetically poor. In here we're so fucking beautiful.

I've just opened another pot of Sevruga because the Beluga's finished. I think I'm going to need more than just one Salvatore Ferragamo scarf. Bring it to me now.

Monday 3 May 2010

Further Grindr fitties

Excuse me but collecting Grindr profile pictures is a valuable journalistic endeavour.

Right. Shall we start with the best? Although I have to say that somehow I don't think that the picture below is a proper punter photo. Or rather, it's a very professionally done "self pic"...

D'ya think it's legit? Pecsuk? More like Poutuk...

More legit. Hawt...

Again, quite hot but can't work out if this is taken in the kitchen or the bathroom. And what sort of phone is that? And is there a banana in the shorts or are the shadows rather flattering?!

I don't know why I kept this one...? I think it's maybe his rather amusing insistence about his preferences. Or maybe it's the very odd and veiny shoulder. I dunno... Looks a little fit although has a - hmm... white tank? Honey, the 80s aren't that back yet...

Older and bolder. Fit, yeah?

Check out this dirty little scally. He does angry face! Although I am not sure about the hat. And the old iPhone either. Sista, you is well time for an upgrade bruv. Etc.

I like the chest. He's rocking that JFK Jnr look, don't you think? Although at 38 years old you would think he would at least live in a house which doesn't have sheets for curtains. And he's kinda working the knickers too. Just.

Um. Yeah. I can't work out this one. Great skin - looks tight. Dunno why I kept this one. Would you?

"Just checking it out" is code for "horny bottom pump fist-fest pig oink", isn't it? Again, do you think this is a genuine pic or rather something nicked from some TV series biog internet page? He's whole face practically drips off those cheekbones. Dahling, you better werk!

Yeah, I like this one. Another dirty oink! But what's with the height thing? And is that a shirt or some sort of hankerchief that he's got draped around himself? Whatever it is, he's holding on to it for dear life. Perhaps later his teeth will be as clenched into the pillow. Woof indeed.

Beirut. I mean, everyone loves a little civil war once in a while. I think this one smells alot of Madrid Pride. And that's not the person in the pic.

And excuse me bitches...

If you spot any Grindr lushness, ping it forth. Let's air it for the globes to see. Get in. Mail me; amnotblog AT gmail.com.