Wednesday, 16 December 2009

22:51
I went and bought a new camera yesterday which I am loving. Although Sally isn't.

She says it's like living with the fucking paparazzi because there are even flashes coming from the bathroom. Ahem.

So anyway, to practice with this new device, I though I would share some pictures with you. This could be filed under the tab "most boring post in the world ever" but thank you for indulging me. Innit.

What I am going to show you, in a series of photographs is how to make my lunch.

First you're going to need square medium-sized Tupperware boxes.

Then, get a cucumber and chop it into little slices using a knife. Obviously.

You'll also need three tins of tuna. I used what must be the best invention ever and that is drained tuna. It means you simply peal open the tin and it's ready to eat.

No silly tin openers, no draining the bloody stuff...

Use a fork and dig the tuna out of tin but not too hard, otherwise you risk flicking the tuna halfway across the kitchen.

And now sort of poke your fork around the tuna and cucumber pretending to be all cookery-like...

Next, open a bag of Sainsbury's ready-prepared salad - the one with beetroot in it. I think it's around £1,19 a bag.

Then, as a little treat, drain some smoked mussels. Totally fucking healthy food fuck-fest...

Finally, once you've added the whole lot together, it looks quite yummy.

And store in the fridge for you to take to work and eat the next day.

And that's the story of my lunch for tomorrow.

Thank you for reading. Seriously. Thank you.

(Er... is anyone still awake or have you fallen asleep on your hands...?)

Those nine pictures in a few words each:
1/ Badly framed
2/ Wrong bits of the cucumber are in focus
3/ Okayish
4/ Tuna's too pink
5/ Dull
6/ Odd light from above
7/ Looks like everything's about slide off to the right of the picture
8/ Flat
9/ Stock (dull)