I am still a bit fucked actually.
Now, go to iTunes and download Cream vs The Hoxtons - Sunshine Of Your Love (Radio Edit). Before you play it, imagine being in the middle of 50,000 people in Hyde Park. Something like this...
On stage is Fat Boy Slim who's mixing up a fucking storm...
And I don't use the word fuck lightly...
Now play that song I told you to download. Yes, I was in fucking heaven. We were dancing, drinking and it was fucking awesome.
The first rule you should know is that boys at music festivals are much hotter than those at gay pride.
I whinge about my job except when it gets me into the VIP area.
There are comfortable chairs for lazy people to sit in. And the bar is free which is why I order about 20 mojito royales.
Then we head to the field to watch Fat Boy Slim who is playing that fuck-off Hoxtons song.
At some point I was drunk enough to enjoy a goddam Dunhill cigarette which is like smoking old boots.
That's Katie. She's ma bitch. Yes, that's right. Corrupt the kids! I think the song "Fat Boy Slim is fucking in heaven" was playing...
I wanna see this dude in 20 years time. Legend. This, however, is not something I wanna see. Bad tan, bad tattoo (and a bit gay).
And this picture segues nicely into gay pride, which is where I was earlier in the day. While there, I met this guy...
Another legend! He detected South African in my accent and told me about the first time he attended Pride in Johannesburg. This man deserves all the respect he gets, he was so friendly and unbelievably normal. Absolute class.
The most surreal moment at Pride was when this bloke tried to hand me a flyer extolling the virtues of Manhunt. I never know if they hand them out to the people who they think need it the most, so I politely declined his offer.
Even though I was so tempted to say something, I didn't. Funny ol' things, these blogs.
By the end of a very long day I was suitably under the influence and generally happy. Which is why I have this need to drape myself over £120,000 sports cars, particularly Aston Martins.
Okay, so when I said there were no hot guys at Pride, maybe I was being a little unfair. You like?