Black Saturday

12:01
I wake up. No alarm clock.

Change is good.

12:05
The pall of death hangs in the air. For today is the day...

12:25
I'd like you to meet the twins...

They're my gym shoes and the sad thing is, their time is up.

They've worn out.

The soles are thin and they're beginning to hurt my feet when I run in them.

It is a sad day because today these shoes will officially meet their maker. Indeed, they are headed for the great Chinese sweatshop in the sky.

But we do not mourn their passing, we celebrate it.

They have given me hours of comfort and traction. Yes, their life was pretty sheltered in that they were mostly only ever worn in the gym. But that is how they wanted it.

At a young age they were thrust (quite literally) into the spotlight. But their status as The Most Famous Pair Of Gym Shoes In The World never phased them.

Their notoriety stemmed from an appearance in the 2005 film Beefcake. (Not a film for your mum...)

Our sole who art in heaven and asshole which art in face.

When you're tied up, always make sure the tongue is out.

The route to them appearing on the small screen is something they have always refused to discuss although they have never said that they regretted participating.



And even though, towards they end, they battled with the treadmill and their grip during Chris's PE sessions began to falter - on the outside they appeared just as fresh as they always were...

Given their pretty unusual heritage I have thought about putting them on eBay. Surely there must be someone who collects this kind of thing?

Bought new at Nike Town on Oxford Circus, they have also travelled across continents.

On one of the few occasions they were worn outside, they helped me complete a 10k run near Stellenbosch in Cape Town, South Africa in March 2007.

They will be fondly remembered.

No flowers please.

14:07
Gentlemen and Ladies...

I'd like to introduce you to the new kids on the block.