Friday, 2 January 2009

Lick it

Before I go to the gym I stop off at the cornershop nearby to pick up an energy drink.

This energy drink is usually consumed while I'm changing into my gym kit, to boost my energy levels ahead of my workout.

Usually there are usually only two brands on sale, Red Bull and V. That a can of Red Bull in this shop sells for around £37, I usually opt for the latter.

And I've noticed that more and more types of energy drinks are appearing, for example Shark, Attitude and Relentless - which is sold in a can the size of a beer barrel.

Incidentally, I love how just about every ad agency seems to have trodden the same worn-out path.

"Right, we have this new energy drink we have to sell. Let's think of an image and word to sum it up. It needs to be something aggressive and punchy."

Unlike the name of the energy drink that caught my attention tonight.

Er.

"Red Bull gives you wings", "Energy is Relentless" but Pussy!?

"I know, let's call it Pussy."

"Er..."

"Yeah, then young people can make jokes about 'when last did you have pussy.' Hahahahaha..."

I don't understand why they beat around the bush (unintended). I mean, why didn't they just call it Fuck?

Why bother trying to be clever?! Of course I know you want to ask...

So what does pussy taste like (hahahahaha)? Well, rather spicy actually but that's not why I've kept the tin.

Indeed, a lame and smutty energy drink deserves no less...

Shaved PussyImagine that, blown up (hahahahaha) to billboard size and pasted on a hoarding along the M40. Genius.

And since we're using foam for nefarious purposes, check this out.

Someone who I've never met and wouldn't want to anyway has decided to take a picture of themselves every day for the next 364 days. I'm pretty sure they won't manage to keep it up (hahahahaha).

9 comments:

Timmy said...

So you're telling us that you tasted Pussy?

dickophile said...

uhm. bobby dear, i really, really, really dont want to lick it. also how did these people get away with calling this thing pussy? out here that would never happen.

Foxy Coxy said...

Timmy: That could be a fair assumption.

Dicks: I didn't think you've have wanted to!

fleetmonkey said...

Now we have a better idea of why the Cat sat on the mat.

I can just see the advert now - Samuel L Jackson in a 1970s pimp guise - promising the very best pussy juice you've had

Foxy Coxy said...

Fleets: You're a natural copywriter. Leave your current job and please go and get some horn-rimmed glasses and a Mini. Advertising beckons.

Oliver said...

All of a sudden every single present for every single lesbian I know has been solved, without even one trip to B&Q!

Bicoastal Inclinations said...

I'm indeed alive and thriving in LA - was just overwhelmed a bit between the new place and the holidays and my blog suffered. I'm going to start recapping some of my adventures shortly. In the meantime, we'd love to have you here! At least come for a visit!

gay+teen+sydneysider said...

the market an energy drink in australia called 'MOTHER'. while the title is particularly strange, not really that funny. the text on the can goes somewhere along the lines of ... "so when your mates raise up their cocktails, you can raise up your MOTHER and say 'does yours come with a manbag too?'"

TheEgoReturns said...

That made me laugh so hard I had to catch my laptop before it hit the floor.