Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Wake up and.....

Roll over back to sleep. I can't be bothered to face people. Being mundane is so last week.

Let's try again.

Get up. Blah...

Fuck. Today is the day that The Cleaning Lady comes so I must have fucked off by 1pm.

I mean, it's not that I don't like the cleaning lady er, Whatzername... it's just that I always feel guilty sitting on the couch chomping chocolate donuts while she has to vacuum around me and pick up the wrappers I throw behind the couch.

And then empty the ash tray I perch on my stomach.

Sometimes I ask her nicely if she'll kneel down next to me so I can rest the can of Carling on her head, the bitch. Etc...

In the Adidas shop on Oxford Street buying new shorts for the gym. I have decided with my change of shoes I need a change of gym attire.

Since we all know that Adidas stands for "All Day I Dream About Sex Sport", I decide that on triple stripes.

Adidas = stripey. Oxford Street = busy. You can fill in the rest of the words.

Sitting in Soho Square having lunch with Liam.

God, the last time I was sat on a sunny afternoon in Soho was at the end of May.

I think that occasion will probably go down as one of the worst of 2009.

I'd just been on a disastrous date, after another disastrous date a week earlier. The guy who I really liked from the week earlier wasn't interested in me.

And the guy who I'd just been on a date with was keen on me but I wasn't keen on him.

I felt sorry myself and sat and listened to Alanis Morissette while the rest of Soho Square quietly enjoyed their Saturday afternoon. God it was crap.

So I'm sitting now looking around to see if there's anyone on a bench alone with sunglasses on, listening to their iPod.

I feel I could be like the (non) Fairy Godmother and walk up to them to say, "don't worry, I've also sat here and cried. In the end it'll be fine..."

Instead Liam and I are sitting playing on Grindr to see if there's anyone within 0 feet of us.

Back at home watching daytime fucking television. What the fuck is that all about?

I think I nod off for a while... For god's sake! There are surely better things I could be doing with my time...


Planking it again in the gym.

Now, we've had some questions about this style of plank.

Particularly about the effectiveness of it since we're basically just doing what would normally be done on the floor.

All I will say is, come to my gym and we'll plank it together and your abs will literally by squirming in pain afterwards. Don't doubt something before you've tried it.

I also do shoulders. Bla.

"No, I'm not going to tell you because it'll end up on the bloody blog of yours..."

Still at the gym and I think I could have some breaking news (into little pieces) about I'm trying to find Chris to ask him but alas alak... he's not around.

I'm deciding on what to wear to Brighton Pride. I need tuna.

Fuck the tuna, I decided on turkey instead.

And that's nice...

Talk to the mirror, I want an early night and am going to bed.


fleetmonkey said...

So the cleaner managed to find your trannie gear for you in time to film your vid.

What did you decide on for Pride.

I'm trying to decide what to wear for my first visit to the scene in 3 years next wednesday - gay night in a small south coast town. After the pizza and dominos chocolate brownies I just ate i'm kind of looking at a tent as the main option.

Anonymous said...

I must be getting old. Everyone keeps asking whether I'm going to B-Pride and I keep asking, "When is it again?"

As for clothes choice... first thing I grab out of the closet. Take it off if the sun's out!

Anonymous said...

Was that a cock ring ?