It's obviously been a very busy day in the news.
In the entrance to our office we have this electronic scrolling thingy (I think that's its technical name) that gives visitors the latest headlines as they enter the building.
I'd been at the Tesco buying a bottle of water and some sushi and came back to the very latest news from around the UK and the world.
Here's what I was told...
"Britney confirms UK concert dates"
"Wogan sings Bing to drum up cash". (Can anyone explain this?!)
And "Escort wanted to be handcuffed"...
Cor. Get that!
Have you been following the trial of the century?
Boy George allegedly beats alleged Norwegian escort with a pole and allegedly chains him with an alleged chain to the wall of his alleged house in Shoreditch. Alleged.
Apparently they allegedly met on Gaydar and the rent allegedly went around to George's house once or twice allegedly, where George allegedly put the rent boys' (alleged?) willy in his mouth and took photos of him too.
Imagine the poor judge in full costume and wig having to sit and listen to all this! Alleged.
The moral of the story is simple. If you're rent and a famous person comes calling - put down the goddam phone.
So a court hears Boy George allegedly ties his rent-boys up and allegedly beats them with poles...
If it's true it would be tame in comparison!
Remember the stories a few years ago of the British politician (married and with kids) who hired a rent-boy to commit "unspeakable acts of degradation" on him.
I'm sure there are also some American politicians who've developed a habit of ending up in bed with rent-boys too.
Although I'm pretty sure there was none of that sort of er, degradation going on...
It would be the best day in the world if all the dirty little secrets were finally revealed.
Me and Anna were sitting in the office the other day, looking around at some of our male colleagues. I bet there were at least two of them who were wearing women's underwear.
And then there's this other women who we're sure had it off with two other male colleagues in the loo at the Christmas party. At the same time.
And there's this other guy who's apparently in a nightclub photo from a dirty evening in Vauxhall. I haven't seen the photo but someone else says it confirms what everyone's suspected for ages.
That there is a rather large metal object attached to what's stuffed in his underpants. When he talks to me I battle to look him in the eyes.