Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Metal detector

It's obviously been a very busy day in the news.

In the entrance to our office we have this electronic scrolling thingy (I think that's its technical name) that gives visitors the latest headlines as they enter the building.

I'd been at the Tesco buying a bottle of water and some sushi and came back to the very latest news from around the UK and the world.

Here's what I was told...

"Britney confirms UK concert dates"

"Wogan sings Bing to drum up cash". (Can anyone explain this?!)

And "Escort wanted to be handcuffed"...

Cor. Get that!

Have you been following the trial of the century?

Boy George allegedly beats alleged Norwegian escort with a pole and allegedly chains him with an alleged chain to the wall of his alleged house in Shoreditch. Alleged.

Apparently they allegedly met on Gaydar and the rent allegedly went around to George's house once or twice allegedly, where George allegedly put the rent boys' (alleged?) willy in his mouth and took photos of him too.

Imagine the poor judge in full costume and wig having to sit and listen to all this! Alleged.

The moral of the story is simple. If you're rent and a famous person comes calling - put down the goddam phone.

So a court hears Boy George allegedly ties his rent-boys up and allegedly beats them with poles...

If it's true it would be tame in comparison!

Remember the stories a few years ago of the British politician (married and with kids) who hired a rent-boy to commit "unspeakable acts of degradation" on him.

I'm sure there are also some American politicians who've developed a habit of ending up in bed with rent-boys too.

Although I'm pretty sure there was none of that sort of er, degradation going on...

It would be the best day in the world if all the dirty little secrets were finally revealed.

Me and Anna were sitting in the office the other day, looking around at some of our male colleagues. I bet there were at least two of them who were wearing women's underwear.

And then there's this other women who we're sure had it off with two other male colleagues in the loo at the Christmas party. At the same time.

And there's this other guy who's apparently in a nightclub photo from a dirty evening in Vauxhall. I haven't seen the photo but someone else says it confirms what everyone's suspected for ages.

That there is a rather large metal object attached to what's stuffed in his underpants. When he talks to me I battle to look him in the eyes.

11 comments:

Monty said...

It certainly is a fascinating trial - though, the pictures we've seen of Boy George (allegedly) make him look like a fat, old, and really unattractive man! (which isn't that much different to when he was in Culture Club really, apart from the "old" bit). And the Swedish/Danish/whatever rent boy looks not half bad. No wonder why BG had to (allegedly) chain him up - the rent probably took one look at him and ran the other way! :-)

dickophile said...

are we talking a cock ring here? im afraid not even im kinky enough to know what you're talking about.

Bobby Cox said...

Monty: BG does look odd - have you seen the head tattoo in some pictures?
It's quite ironic - just like with George Michael. These guys are multi-millionaires you could enjoy 5-star sex fuelled orgies in the poshest hotels in Las Vegas but instead, in Boy George's case - he hires a rent boy off Gaydar and George Michael goes cruising on Hampstead Heath.

Dicks: I luvs ya! I've managed to out-kink you!
Google "Prince Albert ring".
But don't do it at work!! xx

Jake said...

Is the guy with the PA hot? I don't think I could bring myself to do anything with a pierced guy unless he was scorchio...

Timmy said...

I'm thinking the rent boi wouldn't tumble for Boy George and that is why he was tied up.

Bobby Cox said...

Jake: Middle 40s and has quite clearly enjoyed his fair share of beer and falafel! Still innerested?!

Timster: You'd be pissed too if the rent turned up and started to get prissy!
(is tumble slang for something?)

wayne said...

Ah poor George, he seems to be getting himself into all sorts of bovva lately. I think it's a case of opportunism on behalf of the rent boy...

Timmy said...

Bobby...I forget there is an age difference between us. Culture Club had a song "I'll Tumble For You" and pretty much those were the entire lyrics of the song.

Jake said...

Hmm, no I think you're best steering clear of Falafel Boy then.

I did know a guy with a piercing once upon a time, who was very sexy, and we came close to getting it on, but I found out he'd slept with an acquaintance of mine previously which killed it for me. Mind you, apparently if you have a metal filling and you are giving a blowjob, the piercing can do that very uncomfortable 'shock' thing... ouch!

dickophile said...

oh. haha! i actually do know what that is. but i guess i didnt think of it cause the moment after i found out that men actually abused their cocks like that i blocked it out. just thinking about it makes me shiver.

czechOUT said...

Bob

Happy St Andrews day. If you have no Scots in you, then:

Made in Scotland: St. Andrew's Day 2008-Rick's Pics

I bet you wish you did!

ahoj