I am shocked actually. I don't know how it happened but I have just noticed that I have 103 Barbra Streisand songs on my iTunes. I have no excuses really.
Anyway, speaking of cheesy camp music on iTunes, The Point Of No Return, from Phantom of the Opera has been swirling around my head for the for the last few days.
Me modest? Generally yes however the one thing I know I can do well is operate a TV camera. No I don't do weddings.
A colleague who once freelanced for a disreputable but free gay listings magazine in London (yes, that one) told me that someone who he knows - the proverbial friend of a friend - knew someone who worked for a porn company and they were looking for pretty decent cameramen.
This is getting a little convoluted but the upshot of it all was that I got an e-mail on Friday that basically goes;
Got your details through ____ ________ who suggested you maybe interested in some freelance work. I work for a video company that you may have heard of based in London.. would you be interested?" Bla bla.
I would get £400 for a days' work, paid out of the till. Great.
They are interested in me because I have my own camera and I'm apparently good. How very flattering.
It's doing two scenes for a gay porn film to be shot at night in a south London gym locker-room. Er...
I have had all weekend to think about it and just before starting to type this I just shot them off an e-mail.
"Sorry, but I don't think I'm going to be available."
I just couldn't stop imagining the Sunday tabloid newspaper Worst Case Scenario.
_ _ _ journalist exposed as explicit hardcore gay porn producer.
A senior producer at the _ _ _ has been uncovered working part-time for an explicit gay pornography company based in London's seedy Soho district.
By day, Bobby Cox aged 30, works as staff on some of the broadcaster's flagship programmes however his double-life also includes helping to produce sordid gay sex films.
I really thought about doing it. I mean, don't say you wouldn't have been completely fascinated by the idea?
You only live once and perhaps this is serendipity and I actually have an illustrious career ahead in gay porn? Who the hell cares anyway?! Everyone is pretty relaxed and open these days, surely?
Even though I've e-mailed back to say no, definitely not, I still can't help wondering.
Maybe I'll write back and ask if I can go to watch to see if I'm comfortable with it.
Maybe it's me with the hang-ups because it's certainly not them!?