Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Shower time

Tonight in the gym. Two straight boys, one with an amazing body the other not so amazing.

They are behind me and we are walking into the shower stalls.

I hang my towel up, get in and yank the curtain shut. The one straight boy with the amazing body in the stall to my left, the other straight boy with the not-so-amazing body in the stall opposite.

The boy with the not-so-amazing body, at the top of his voice, to ensure that his mate can hear him...

"Ah... This shower is so warm. It's making me feel like I want to have a poo."

The boy with the amazing body; "I know - if this was a Muslim shower we could have a poo..."

"Why?"

"Because they poo standing up, don't they?"

"Oh yeah..." Pause. "This best thing is taking a massive poo, just after you've woken up."

"Yeah, if you have coffee, after like 20 minutes it's like just a massive relief."

"That's a BP"

"What?"

"Big Poo..."

I stand there, lean on one foot and put my hands on my hips.

Suddenly there's an earth-shattering noise, like the ground is opening up and the showers stalls shake.

One of them has burped.

Then the other one burps but it is forced and sounds stupid.

"That was shit. Hold on..."

Then another ground-shaking belch, that goes up an octave in the process.

I left boarding school 12 years ago but it feels so odd to be back there suddenly.

I leave and don't stay around for the part where they run around naked and flick each other with their towels.

7 comments:

Ja said...

straight guys go to your gym? there's your problem.

Timmy said...

Hi Bobby. I'd like to introduce myself to you. You might remember me but then maybe you've forgotten who I am.

I had a major disturbance in my life. Like Tina Turner I got bitched slapped by Ike (Hurricane Ike that is.) I don't care who's wrong or right I don't want to fight no more.

I'm trying to get back into a routine and I was wondering if reading your blog could be a part of my routine...it was a part of the old routine...and well, I'd like to reclaim parts of my life that was disrupted on Sept. 12.

So, if you remember me, I hope that you will welcome me back to Am Not Blog. :-)

Martin said...

I'm amused. That's added to my list of reasons I'm glad I'm not straight.

Bobby Cox said...

Ja: Our gym is packed to the rafters with straights. Most disconcerting really.

Timmy: Have you gone mad!? I left some comments on your blog during the Ike-a-rama - so I know what's been happening...
There's even a link on the side of my blog to your side which has been there for ages.
So welcome back!

Marty McFly: Yes. Although straight boys are generally much hotter than gay ones.
But still...

Ade said...

Straight boys are odd, thats why we like to love them from afar..... they are also a bit vile when they get together and there is nothing worse than a hot guy behaving like that.

Bobby Cox said...

Ade: I'm interested to know what airline you work for??! ;-)

Ade said...

It's me from BA, finally worked out how to post properly via blogger..... You have my e-mail already so if you want a good fare to CPT on a proper airline,,,,, x