Monday, 25 May 2009

Sunday, 25 May 09

I put down the phone to Nix who I shared an epiphany with in Soho and am in an off-licence about 500 yards from home.

And what...?! Phwaor!

It's the undercover copper who was investigating the drive-by hammer assault and mugging last weekend. He is also in the store, like me, buying a 2 litre bottle of Evian plus a Red Bull.

I think to myself, "God, you really are fit in an-undercover-copper-with-an-amazing-body-in-tight-jeans-kind-of-Michael Douglas-in-Basic Instinct way.

Dark hair. Dark blue Nike trainers. A sturdy brown belt. Confidence.

He has on a Met Police polo shirt that is open at the top. You can see the two blocks that make up the top of his pecs, leading to the middle groove which extends down beyond the white buttons.

I make a note to myself to look up what I wrote about him on Twitter when he appeared at the crime scene last weekend.

A block. With a chest. And forearms. Ohmygod. I am looking at his neck. That alone is enough.

He notices me standing next to him to pay. He speaks, he says. "Oh, hey..."

And I don't know what words come out my mouth but we establish that the mugging is (not allowed to be written about), he's working overnight in cop shop up the road.

He's come early to get some paperwork done. It's going to be a long night. Yeah, loads of filling out forms. It's boring but has to be done.

I think the words I say are "well, yeah with my housemate as you know - but she's in Bali at the moment."

On or around 22:37

"Yeah, hold on while I get some from the downstairs loo..."

I don't really have much else to add.


scotrock said...

Please forgive me, Bobby, if this sounds clueless...

...but is that a a Met Police polo shirt on the floor?

Jay said...

OMG.......I'm jealous


Monty said...

You got to shag the cop???? Deeeeeply jealous!!!!!!!!!

fleetmonkey said...

Hope you have enough energy for your workout in the morning.

Anonymous said...

Yowzers. Talk about going on the beat.
your shameless & a legend

Bobby Cox said...

Scot: It's clothing of some sort and it doesn't belong to me.

Jay: He wants you next!

Monty: See above x x

Fleets: I have a reserve tank.

Anon: Or "would you come quietly please sir". Or something. (?)

N1David said...

Jammy bugger. Jealous as hell. Mind you, it's payback for your work on your abs - which are looking rather fine, by the way...

Jake said...

Sorry, really get it - did you spaff yourselves silly over each other's rock hard pecs or did you just spill the Red Bull and need to mop it up?

If the former, then that's good - but I'm slightly disturbed by the comparison to Michael Douglas!

chabang said...

what can i say, i'm shocked and expected so much better of you...

...having a downstairs toilet is SO middle class!