Eyes open. In bed.
Need to get up and get at 'em.
I decide that there's no point in going to the gym unless you make a big fucking production about going...
I am in the final stages of my epic run at the gym which involves me plodding and sweating from every pore on the treadmill as Deborah Cox screams words in my ear, courtesy of the iPod.
I have sorted the music up so that we leave the most uplifting and vocal trancey stuff right to the part where we are at the limit.
This is where the sweat is flying and there are three minutes left, and I have upped the speed.
This is like being the eye of the storm, where all around you is chaos, sweating, panting and noise but in the centre you find yourself calm and serene
There are currently two songs which fit this mood very well:
1/ Deborah Cox: Easy as Life (Offer Nissim Club Mix)*
2/ Freemasons featuring Bailey Tzuke: Uninvited (Full length club mix)
3/ Beyonce: Ring The Alarm (Freemasons Club Mix)
* = this is an exceptional song for that moment in your run when you hit 40 minutes and the endorphins kick in...
Drop and destroy camera that was my birthday present last year.
Wonder if there's some weird voodoo bad luck hex on my life.
(Seriously, if it is you with the mini doll of me and the needles sticking into it, could you maybe give me just the teensiest bit of rest for the moment... I mean okay, I'm not yet in the church vomiting up bowls of cherries but it is annoying nonetheless.)
I know you're wondering about it and his name was Darryl Van Horn.
Falling asleep in front of Wimbledon. This means it's snooze time.
I sit up with a start. Fuck, I was dreaming that my teeth were falling out.
Apparently this suggests a loss of self esteem or a worry about getting old. Or losing ones' looks (such as they are...!)
Or maybe it means that the person with the mini doll of me with the needles in is now kicking it in the teeth.
Making my food for the morning which means grilling chicken and er, that's it.
I'm going out and the one of the guys in the flat below is coming in.
So I stops and says hi to him. And he says hi. And I am like; "yeah, so sounded like you were having a busy time on Friday night?"
And he says "like, sorry did the noise bother you?" and I'm not "no, not really...I was awake anyway."
And then I says "although it did sound like more than just two of you..!" And he laughs and is like "haha - yeah, it wasn't just two of us..." and I'm like what a slag!
This guy is a teacher and straight and he's having dirty threesome sex with ladies. Straight guys can be complete husssies and the funny thing is, if you met him in the supermarket your mum would be like "oh, what a lovely guy..."
Loving him, the dirty bastard.
So sadly I could not counter the neighbours story with wild antics of my own because erm... Sahara's the word (desert...)
And we're talking to Sainsbury's and accompanied by the extended mix of DJ Jean's track "Play That Beat" which you have probably heard out and wondered what it was called.
"The sound of disco, Berlin, San Francisco, the club, the heat... the beat..."
Watching a brilliant programme on TV about airports. They're fascinating places.
Immediately reminded of one of my favourite things in the world entire world... flying!
Just as I made a list yesterday, so I have to make another list.
This list is: Five Best Feelings In the World.
Gym should feature on this list and so should er ... You Know What but quite frankly, the former is a good feeling but it's not the best in the world and as for the latter, well I'd far rather drink tea to be honest.
5/ Feeling confident as a result of looking good and lying on Clifton 3rd beach in Cape Town on a warm summer's afternoon.
4/ That time on a warm evening, usually with very special friends sitting around a table - whether at a restaurant, pub or someone's garden, when you've been drinking and eating all day and suddenly you find that you are 90% proof and while not drunk, you are comfortably sozzled and you become one with all of those around you.
All is full of love.
3/ Kissing ---------
2/ Achieving or completing something you never thought you'd do... (File under work achievements)
1/ Lounging in Upper Class on a Virgin Atlantic plane, sipping a glass of champagne and getting ready to take off from a hideously cold and soggy London Heathrow and heading out to a hot and sunny Cape Town on holiday.
I have only ever felt this twice and each time it is just as special.
It is one of the few occasions where, for twelve hours at least, the smile cannot be wiped from my face.
It is the top spot because points 5 and 4 usually follow.
It also involves flying, it means the promise of a holiday and there is just this overwhelming mix of nerves, achievement, relief, excitement, antici....pation of what the next three-odd weeks will bring.
Points two to five happen by chance. They're not / they weren't planned but spontaneous which makes them doubly special.
Point one is triple special because it's planned and you have a whole year to look forward to it. I know it sounds corny but it makes me feel like a kid at Christmas.
Enough revolting schmaltz. You can puke at your leisure.
I'm going to bed to lie and not sleep because I'll be too hot. In London it's a heatwave you know...