Friday, 28 August 2009

Friday, 28 August 09

Wake up on the couch in the lounge.

This is the worst result.

I hate people who sleep on sofas or who fall asleep wherever they land but this is exactly what I have done.

Falling asleep in the lounge reminds me of my dad who would come home after work, sit down to read the newspaper and promptly fall asleep for a few hours. I was shipped off to bed before I could say hello.

Yesterday became hideous and busy. I ended up boozing it for a friend's birthday. On an empty stomach.

White wine is okay but difficult when you attack it having not had any food.

My eyes are red and I am spitting phlegm from the wine which causes it.

I am sitting on the corner of my bed in my pyjamas. I should have done this when I came home, not sat in front of the TV and then gone; "I'll just stretch out here for a second while I rest my eyes."

Above post summed up in a few words: 5am. Feel crusty. Need bed,

Urgh. I need food except there is none in the fridge. Sainsbury's it is then.

Walking back from the Sainsbury's and I have soya milk, rye bread and a Guardian in my bag. I have become the cliche. I am the stereotype.

Oh fuck - and I'm wearing flip-flops too. Thank god they're not bloody leather.

I read the Guardian and I don't even enjoy it. It's like cod liver oil - you only do it because everyone else does, it's habit and it appears to be good.

(Production note: the Guardian is a left-leaning British newspaper that specialises in killing a large number trees to create paper on which to print endless drivel about stuff that appeals to closet Commies, homosexuals and climate-change campaigners.)
This is fair? - ed

I am interrogating my iTunes library for an experiment. Are there entirely different songs with exactly the same name?

Well yes, there are...

The Way You Make Me Feel - City Centre (from a Ministry of Sound CD - not the same one as earlier)
The Way You Make Me Feel - Michael Jackson

Walking on Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves
Walking on Sunshine - J.Lo

Magic - Olivia Newton John
Magic - Mike Smiley from the Ghostbusters soundtrack

Freedom - Simply Red
Freedom - George Michael
Freedom - Shiva

Dreaming - Blondie
Dreaming - Ruff Driverz featuring Arrolla

This game is now dull...

On the 14th of February 1997 the Daily Mail newspaper did something extraordinary. It accused five men of murder and then challenged the men to sue the newspaper for libel. They never did.

I mention the case because I am about to do something similar. I'm not going to accuse anyone of murder but the conduct may be equally deplorable.

I am going to publish a picture of a child.

It is a photo of a boy that I took without permission. The boy is too young to realise what I was doing. I should have asked his mother before taking the picture.

That said, I would have asked her had she not been on the phone.

It's very late at night and I am at the off-licence buying bottled water and soya milk.

There was a commotion, a woman shouting vile language into a phone as her son - wearing a plaster cast for a broken arm - waited patiently by sitting on the newspaper rack.

I can't stick pictures on the web of kids without protecting them.

I have had a boozer. And I can't find the words to defend myself.

I can't try to be eloquent and I don't know what to say but all I know is that this depressed me intensely...

Good night, sleep tight.


Jake said...

Hey, I'm bored too, here's my same name, different songs:

Addicted - Amy Winehouse
Addicted - Kelly Clarkson

Affirmation - Beverley Knight
Affirmation - Savage Garden

Beautiful - Aimee Mann
Beautiful - Christina Aguilera

OK, so all this is proving is I am in fact, v. v. gay. Oh dear. And I didn't even include all the A's.

TED said...

Are the homosexuals and climate-change campaigners also closeted, or only the Commies? This is the most earnest question I will ask anyone all day.

Bobby Cox said...

Snap on Beautiful and Addicted.... and yeah - for some reason there are a lot of songs beginning with S.

TED: Um... some climate-change campaigners are homosexual but not all homosexuals are climate-change campaigners although some of them are commies.