Monday, 28 September 09

NINETY THREE
08:14
Jesus Christ.

Or rather Jeezy Kreezy. It's Monday morning and what the fuck?!

Today is no gym so we're not too stressed. God it's weird to get up in the morning and go straight to work. Feels odd.

10:53
We're trying to clear something up.

You know the wankey books that people like Picasso spunked all over? Is the name pronounced "Mole-skin" or "Molluskeenah"? We're veering towards the latter.

b11:06
Wikipedia says "mol-a-skeena". So that's settled then.

14:28
More bloody choices.

Right. There is a serious one to be made and you can help make the decision.

There are some little quaint oddities about South Africa.

For example, in South Africa everyone is free and the chattering classes love to drone on about how all citizens in "The Rainbow Nation" are beautiful, equal and special.
Despite that, South Africans have a bizarre obsession with beauty pageants.

Everyone is equal and special except for beauty pageant winners. They're just a little more special and equal than everyone else.

Like Miss South Africa who is a national celebrity. Someone who is lauded at shopping centres, kisses babies and raises the sick, the lame and the downright bone-bloody-idle.

And what's good for Miss South Africa is good for Mr South Africa too...

Meet Clayton.

Clayton is a finalist in the Mr South Africa competition.

As is customary, it is important for Mr South Africa to be beautiful on the inside and the outside.

On the inside, how beautiful is this? "What we need to realize as a nation is that our communities in general are extension s of our homes, and that in order to see the positivity we seek in our own lives, we need to become actively involved in painting over the cracks where necessary."

(Plastering not painting, surely?!)

Anyway, more important though is what Clayton looks like half naked...

You like?

No, no... don't feel upset. There is no reason to feel left out because the gays have it covered to.

Yes, there's also Mr Gay SA.

And don't panic because I have it whittled down. You can plough through the finalists if you want here but I have found the two most likely to win...

Charl on the left or Chris on the right. So who'd you pick?

I am going to go with the one on the left. Simply because - what the hell is that Armani belt all about on the right?

So, let's just get straight (haha) down to it. Which of them would you like to bang like a barn door in a gale (because what's it's all about basically...)

Answers on the back of a toilet door somewhere.

16:29
Eating a salad from Tossed. It's yum. Except for the fact that all the people who work at Tossed (they do salads - see what they've done?!)

Anyway, all the people who work at Tossed wear pink T-shirts that say "I'm a tosser" on the back.

Har har.

17:04
We're doing... stuff


about....


um...


Oh god, listen. Let's talk amongst ourselves. It's Monday night. There's an entire fucking week to get though.





21:35
Holy shit, it's nearly October. I just realised that.

And Michael Jackson's still dead.