Wake up without a hangover. Bloody hell, that Chateau Margeaux stuff from the party the night before is good shit.
Go to gym. While there The Fittest Guy In The World Entire World asks me to help spot him. This absolutely turns this day into the best ever.
I am flattered and honoured to do so. Ohmygod. He is the hottest guy I have ever been near, ever. Anyway.
I notice a London W a s p s logo on his shorts which means I have to leave the gym immediately to get home and visit their website.
Google is a bastard because everything you write immediately becomes searchable - hence the spaces I am about to put into all these words - but go to the official L o n d o n W a s p s website.
You'll see a tab at the top in yellow for " R u g b y ". Let it open and choose P e o p l e.
Go to the " F i r s t X V " and choose the team for the 2004/5 season - the scroll down menu is in the top right of the picture.
He's on the bottom row, second from the right. His first name starts with " J a m " and his surname ends with " l w o o d."
Not only that but do a Google search for him. There's a YouTube video and some topless shots, it's via " L A M u s c l e ".
He is so hot that he has actually put me off my food.
And it seems from the video that he can actually string a sentence together which means I'm sure he won't mind if the gays slobber over him.
What. A. Fittie.