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11:23
I am awake in a hotel room and there is brown stuff smeared all over my face, the bed and on the T-shirt I am wearing.
This is what happens when you fall into bed drunk and don't move the complimentary chocolates.
12:05
I am sitting at the Waterfront with Alex (who we all love and you should too) and we are drinking beer. Alex is the only person in the whole world who I can do this with.
(If you've been following my woeful tale for some time, Alex is The Boy On The
13:24
Alex and I are watching the Grand Prix qualifiers and I am eating a pizza and this is the most carbs I have had in about two months.
We are also drinking alcohol and this isn't good because less than twelve hours ago I was so drunk I could not stand up. But it is acceptable because we're on holiday and who cares? Nobody cares.
I certainly don't.
16:46
I think at this point I need a disco nap.
20:01
"Bobs you were very very drunk last night."
21:16
"Yeah, we met last night but you were very very drunk and probably don't remember."
22:36
Jo who is the very sexy lesbian bar lady (seriously, you would...) is pulling a blinder.
I have said to Jo "listen, if anyone wants to buy me a shot of alcohol, please put water in the glass and not tequila."
So far I have had three "shots" and I am still as sober as teetotal making their way through an airport in Saudi Arabia.
How much do we love Jo? We love her a lot.
23:01
Yes. Last night I was drunk. I had a party. People bought me alcohol. I licked some people's faces. It was revolting.
Sue me.
If one more person reminds me about it...
(Secretly I am loving it though)
23:17
I have a camera with me so that I can take photos and document the evening for your viewing pleasure and I have decided at this point to take a picture for you to savour and enjoy.
The rest of the evening will head in this direction although I have had another shot of water so perhaps it won't.23:26
"Yes, you won't remember me from last night. I'm one of Nick's friends. We met but I think you were too drunk to realise. You licked my face."
Goddamit. This is the third fucking person who I don't remember meeting on Friday night.
23:47
There are lesbians fighting. It's fabulous.
3 comments:
23:26 is quite scary I must say.
I think you will find that you are the boy on the left....
BJ: Seriously. It was lesbians having a serious bitch fight. And it spilled out into the road and they were bawling around on the road and stopped the traffic. It. was. brilliant!
Anon: I think you will find that you are indeed correct on this issue. (thank you)!x
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