Monday, 28 July 2008

Guns loaded

Life sucks when it ebbs and flows. One minute you're motivated and keen, the next you just can't give a fuck.

I'm currently in that "couldn't give a fucking shit" stage at the moment.

I had the day off so decided to go to the gym for a good session this afternoon.

I got changed and wandered around, did a pull-up and drank some water then ran for about 3 minutes. By now bored, I decided to shower and leave.

It didn't help that immediately after sloping out of the gym, I ran into someone with the most perfect arms ever, in the Waitrose next door...

Those are not just loaded guns - those are surface-to-air Katyusha rockets.

I thought of bribing him for a feel with one of the Muller yoghurts I had in my basket. I didn't see a girlfriend around so I wouldn't have upset some old ropey bird.

He had such a good body (from what I could tell) that I was little taken aback to find him in the bread section. Wheat, gluton, carbs etc.

Sometimes I look at very overweight people in the supermarket who're stacking their trolley and it always becomes obvious why they are the size they are. They will always have a ready-made cake in a box sitting on a sixpack of 2-litre diet Coke bottles.

Because if it says 'diet' it means that it makes you thinner. So that's why it's okay to drink twice as much.

14 comments:

fleetmonkey said...

Those are very big arms - I think some people are genetically gifted to be able to eat anything they want - probably excercise very little - and still have a great bod - while the rest of us suffer.

If your going through the can't bothered phase - I will give you some advice I never get round to taking - take up a sport or a class
where you get excercise but you don't necessarily realise.

Going back to your oggling reminded me of this guy in the shop I was stood behind in the queue for the checkout. He had the most perfect backs of ears - took lots of self control not to lick the back of said ear.

Just Me said...

Nice arms indeed!

I don't give a shit half the time and I have work outs like that every once in a while. I often find myself saying out loud "I hate this shit" when I am working out and I am doing my last rep.

Today I am going to run for 5 miles after work. Earlier I was thinking to myself "Why do you torture youself?" and then I remembered about the half marathon I am suppose to run in December and I really don't give a shit about finishing it anymore. Especially when it's over 100 degrees outside. (sorry for the rant)

Timmy said...

If you lived in Houston, I would say that the heat is wearing you out. I've sorta been slacking on the running, spinning and weights so I know your feeling about not being bothered.

I normally don't notice items in a shopping cart but I do notice what people order at Starbucks.

For instance. One day this guy with a fat ass walks in and I'm sitting there thinking, "He's going to order a donut." And he did! What I wanted to say was, "Why you just get 1/2 a dozen?" but I didn't.

seahorse said...

sum1 having a bad day now are we....
prozac, valium....u spoilt for choice u know..

dickophile said...

is this guy good looking or are his arms his best feature?

Bobby Cox said...

Fleet: You shouldn't have licked him. He may have punched you. But then again he may have turned around and kissed you.
You never know.
And now you'll never be able to find out.

Just me: I think that it's summer coming to an end, everyone's a little depressed and nobody actually gives a shit anymore. that's why the world Western world is headed for oblivion because nobody gives a shit.

Timmy: I think it's the heat that's fucking everyone around. You're right - and speaking of the Starbucks - i saw someone the other day have FOUR. I was shocked!

Seahorse: What's wrong with your back? And why do I have to see the top of your arse?!

Dick: His arms were just one of MANY features that he had going for him. And the fact that he was shopping in Waitrose made him even more appealing.

David said...

I didn't know they sold donuts at starbucks. Maybe they just don't over here.
Your so brave to take a picture of him in public... i cant turn off the camera sounds on my phone unless i put it on silent and turn of the flash - its such a hassle.
I think its a really sad when you see fat people binge eating at a diner by themselves.

Bobby Cox said...

David: I felt very brave taking his picture. Especially because he could have turned around and put me in a giant man-hold.
Swoon.

Graham said...

Bobby,

I know what you need. You need to go and use that pass to go to a different gym and try to find my future husband again. Only this time you have to make contact with him and tell him I love him, or something like that :)

Bobby Cox said...

G-man: I have been meaning to go back to the gym and to others in London but haven't got off my fat arse to do so. It's because I have a pre-occupation with my current one.
I must, I know. And I'm sure your boyfriend is doing well.
In fact, I have just been sent a promo thing from Fatness First offering me £10-off joining, so if you want it, you have to come to London and get it.
And G- he wants you, you know...

Graham said...

Bobby,
Ok, I have a plan. So I'll prob pay London a visit in sept or oct, so you have to get a fatness first pass for me and we can go on a manhunt together :)

That or on the piss.

Bobby Cox said...

G: or we could gym and then drink spirits. And have a protein shake in the middle just to completely paralyse our liver / kidney / internal organs

seahorse said...

eish...a little 2 much sun i reckon.. Toned down little in italia. But toning up in greece shortly i fink. Have a 22hour ferry ride ahead of me..fuck knows how i got into this one.. I shall remove my pale ass shortly.

Bobby Cox said...

Seahorse: Oh hell no bitch. Don't take that picture down.

You stuck it up there for people to notice so now you have to give everyone a look what you're trying to show us.
We wanna see your ass, fucker.

I have done a whip-around and everyone says since you put that picture up, they wanna see your butt.
So come on. Let's see it bitch.

Sort. It. Out.
Any type of showing off on here gets the response it deserves! Now strip bitch. We're waiting...