Tuesday, 8 July 2008

Gym scouts Pt 1

At London Pride on Saturday I was handed a flyer that offered me a free guest pass to any Fatness First gym.

Do they hand these to people who they think need them or do they give them out to those who look like they already go to gym and are trying to get them to change to Fitness First? I don't know the answer but I accepted the flyer.

Yesterday I spent the day researching which gym I was going to attend.
1/ It needed to be in Central London, preferably along the Jubilee or Central Lines.
2/ It had to be open when I wanted to go (i.e. it can't close at 8pm)
3/ That's it.

Today I decided to take up the club's offer and went along to the Fatness First on Kingly Street.

So you walk down a few stairs, through a door and hey presto! You're in. No literally - the gym is so small there are people doing press-ups behind the reception desk. It is about the size of a shoebox and divided into two areas.

First, the area where people sweat all over each other and secondly the area where everyone bashes into you with their weights.

Above is the sweaty area where

Holy fuck.

Having changed, I'm about to get on the treadmill and I spot someone. Oh god. It's someone I've interacted with. But not just that. He used to go to the gym I currently go to. The gym I am in now is small enough without having the fucking walls close in even more.

We speak. He's very pumped and still very interactable. I get a semi. This is bad.

Fuck, so I try and run and then pow! Do you know the pictures I took at London Pride? You'll find them here...yeah? Second from the bottom, in the blue T-shirt (Graham please note...)

Yep, he's there too wearing grey tracksuit pants and a pink and white polo shirt. He's equally interactable, especially because he pulls funny faces when lifting heavy weights in the bashing section of the gym...

I do ten minutes of cardio while amused by one of the TV channels called Fitness First News?! On this channel there are music videos and endless plugs about the advantages of joining Fitness First. "Preaching" and "converted" are words that spring to mind.

Statistically I think this gym is 75% male and of those 75%, I reckon half of them are gay. There were a lot of tanorexics in tank tops.

One of the personal trainers was very definitely gay because, while doing arms, I kept getting offered a lot of advice and a smile. He was at the front desk when I came in and figured maybe I needed some subtle convincing to get me to join.

Or at least I think he was gay, he may have just been a very good salesperson. He was just always stood a little too close behind me. I got at least one brief touch - the front of his trousers connected with the area in the middle of my bum. Fuck - another semi.

After about 30 minutes of triceps of trying to hide this and act normally doing biceps and triceps, I decide to pack it in. I've seen it all and the guy who I had an interaction with also keeps coming up and trying to chat.

I race into the showers and get changed.

On the way out Interaction Guy sees me and says that maybe we should swap numbers incase I was interested in "meeting up again maybe or something." I smile and we exchange digits.

I leave and don't see Personal Trainer on the way out. Maybe he's gone to find another punter on a guest pass who needs convincing.

Of course on the way out I grab another pamphlet offering me a free trial. Another week, a different gym perhaps?


Graham said...

Holy fuck! It's a sign. I was only just thinking about how FedEx haven't even called me to say that my package will be delayed or something and then this.

Now, here's the problems I have. Why can't that photo be enlarged? I need to see more of him.
Next, I spotted that he was wearing a (wedding??) ring. Is he gay? I'm sure he is, right?

I'm SO jealous right now it's not even funny.

Bobby Cox said...

G: I can tell you're really excited by this. I did get two pictures of him.

They're here

And here

Without wanting to disappoint you too much - I did get a v. straight vibe from him at Pride (he didn't stay to watch any of the parade). But you never know. This is 2008.

dickophile said...

confused. why is this gym a bad place if you're getting boners left and right?

Superdrewby said...

honey I think you need some sex and not with an inanimate object!

Bobby Cox said...

Dick: It was exciting being a new place and all and the hot trainer was very fit and Previous Interactor was looking amazing (so it's obvious nature should...) but it was too small and too crowded. Working out in a hot and fuming environment is fine once in a while but not every night.
After a while I would be like, 'okay, can we all just have our space.' You have no idea - it was really small.

Bobby Cox said...

Super: why, because hot guys in the gym who flirt with me give me semis?!

Timmy said...

Mr. Blue Shirt is quite the cutie pie!

Ja said...

my gym chain has one like this a few blocks from me. I can't handle it because I kept checking myself out in the mirror thinking it was someone else -being use to the larger, correctly populated location. No semi from though, that'd been weird. I also may have had too high a heart beat, causing.

WillySmith said...

Am I the only one who ignores everyone at the gym and just works out?

fleetmonkey said...

I've been a member of FF a few years ago - staff are always really nice and friendly - but the gyms standards aren't always great in terms of hygiene and maintenance.

It is amazing how they will shoe horn a gym into a really small space. Some work better than others - Cannons in the west end is over something like 5 stories and the pool on the bottom floor looks like something hugh hefner would have at the Playboy mansion.

If you splurge you can get a FF platinum pass or whatver they call it now - so you can use anyone you want.

Superdrewby said...

no - because you get semis when they only flirt with you LOL

you shoudl be getting full on throbbing erections when some hot guys flirts with you.

so embraessingly large and erect that it attarcts the boys for you.

oh god maybe it's me that needs some action LOL

and i am married!

Monty said...

Interactor is HOT!!! But not surprising that he's chatting to you because you're not half bad yourself Bobbie!!! ;-)

Bobby Cox said...

Timmy: Mr Blue Shirt is very cute. Just ask SOME people...

Ja: I think this explanation of the higher heart-rate is right. This sounds like a medical thing. Are you a doc? Haha - yeah - I know you mean about the mirrors. For a split second you go "kinda hot..." and then you realise "oh, it's me."

City: Boring! Are you telling me you don't pop boners, lather up in the showers and have group sex in the sauna? What's the point of gym?!

Fleet: I don't think I am going to change from my regular gym but it is nice to visit new ones. And I was quite amazed that they managed to fit a gym into the space they did. It really was like a postage stamp.

Drew: I guess the explanation for this is that I amazing control. And yes, if you're interacting regularly it kinda manages to stop you poking their eye out!

Monty: Me hot? Monty - you must be wearing sunglasses indoors again. And looking at the wrong blog... ;-)

Graham said...

Ok, I've calmed down now Bobby, you'll be glad to know. That guy is 100% my ideal husband, but I think he's already been snatched and yeah, I think he might actually be straight too. Thats typical. I see someone I like and they're straight.

Regarding gyms. I hate if they're so small that you have no space. I don't like people being too close, not in general or anything, I'm not a total freak. But you need space to work out and people can be so unaware of whats around them. I've had guys literally standing in the way chatting when I was trying to do flies and my gym is a huge open space.

I do LOVE going to different gyms though, just to try them out, see the talent on show. It's all such a novelty. In general in my gym, I don't speak to people. I just go and do my workout. Sometimes even my training partner talks too much for my liking.


p.s. I guess my fedex package ain't gonna arrive anytime soon then :(