At London Pride on Saturday I was handed a flyer that offered me a free guest pass to any Fatness First gym.
Do they hand these to people who they think need them or do they give them out to those who look like they already go to gym and are trying to get them to change to Fitness First? I don't know the answer but I accepted the flyer.
Yesterday I spent the day researching which gym I was going to attend.
1/ It needed to be in Central London, preferably along the Jubilee or Central Lines.
2/ It had to be open when I wanted to go (i.e. it can't close at 8pm)
3/ That's it.
Today I decided to take up the club's offer and went along to the Fatness First on Kingly Street.
So you walk down a few stairs, through a door and hey presto! You're in. No literally - the gym is so small there are people doing press-ups behind the reception desk. It is about the size of a shoebox and divided into two areas.
First, the area where people sweat all over each other and secondly the area where everyone bashes into you with their weights.
Above is the sweaty area where
Having changed, I'm about to get on the treadmill and I spot someone. Oh god. It's someone I've interacted with. But not just that. He used to go to the gym I currently go to. The gym I am in now is small enough without having the fucking walls close in even more.
We speak. He's very pumped and still very interactable. I get a semi. This is bad.
Fuck, so I try and run and then pow! Do you know the pictures I took at London Pride? You'll find them here...yeah? Second from the bottom, in the blue T-shirt (Graham please note...)
Yep, he's there too wearing grey tracksuit pants and a pink and white polo shirt. He's equally interactable, especially because he pulls funny faces when lifting heavy weights in the bashing section of the gym...
I do ten minutes of cardio while amused by one of the TV channels called Fitness First News?! On this channel there are music videos and endless plugs about the advantages of joining Fitness First. "Preaching" and "converted" are words that spring to mind.
Statistically I think this gym is 75% male and of those 75%, I reckon half of them are gay. There were a lot of tanorexics in tank tops.
One of the personal trainers was very definitely gay because, while doing arms, I kept getting offered a lot of advice and a smile. He was at the front desk when I came in and figured maybe I needed some subtle convincing to get me to join.
Or at least I think he was gay, he may have just been a very good salesperson. He was just always stood a little too close behind me. I got at least one brief touch - the front of his trousers connected with the area in the middle of my bum. Fuck - another semi.
After about 30 minutes of triceps of trying to hide this and act normally doing biceps and triceps, I decide to pack it in. I've seen it all and the guy who I had an interaction with also keeps coming up and trying to chat.
I race into the showers and get changed.
On the way out Interaction Guy sees me and says that maybe we should swap numbers incase I was interested in "meeting up again maybe or something." I smile and we exchange digits.
I leave and don't see Personal Trainer on the way out. Maybe he's gone to find another punter on a guest pass who needs convincing.
Of course on the way out I grab another pamphlet offering me a free trial. Another week, a different gym perhaps?