There's a poster at the Tube station that asks, in big black writing; "if God were alive today, what would you ask him?"
Underneath it, in red, there's another question; "What is the purpose of my life?"
You read about all these people losing money and the value of millions of stocks being wiped and I've started to wonder what the purpose of life really is? It's definitely not money.
Okay, I'm a poover so at the moment it's not to procreate. Ladies, unless you're willing to turkey baste?
So why the hell are we here?
I know this is a pretty fundamental question and yes, I did think about it while trying to hide a fart, wait for the train and make sure nobody could hear I was listening to Supertramp.
And you stuff yourself into a Tube carriage, within centimetres of another person. But they're just an annoyance.
To you they're not someone who has their own life, their own feelings and insecurities and disappointments and triumphs.
Sometimes I look at people and think about slapping them or pulling their hair. Not because I want to hurt them but because I have this urge to connect with their life for a split second.
I think instead of pulling their hair (and trust me, sometimes I really want to yank their goddam locks as hard as possible, especially when they get onto the train before you've got off) but anyway.
Instead of pulling their hair I think I'm going to try and do an act of random kindness. But I don't want whoever it is to know that it's me.
Because everyone's so gloomy I feel like maybe the point of life right now is spread some cheer. I just need to think of a way of doing it that is totally anonymous, non-stalkerish and won't land me up in court for being a perv or trespassing etc.
I am going to have to think about this one.