Sunday, 1 June 2008


Everything I do now is based on the premise that, within a week, I will be 30. This means I don't care because after my birthday, I won't do it anymore.

I have been drunk since Thursday. At the moment I am 95% sober.

On Friday at work after lunch, I poured myself a glass of wine in a plastic cup, just a little pick-me-up. When I turn 30 I will condemn anyone who drinks to make work more interesting.

When I am 30 I will not stagger into McDonald's and assault as many cheeseburgers as the coins in my pocket will buy.

When I am 30 I will tidy up my bedroom.

There are empty glasses on every surface and where there aren't glasses there are dirty bowls with spoons in and bits of cereal lining the bottom.

An empty can of beer sits next to the Berocca.

I don't care. This place is a pigsty. When I am 30 it will be immaculate.

When I am 30 I will be beautiful and I will brush my teeth regularly. I can't remember the last time I did so.

As a 30-year-old, I will attend gym and I won't get bored and wander out after 25 minutes.

I am a mess. I am smelly and dirty and I don't care. When I go out I wear a newly-washed T-shirt and spray on masses of deodorant, to hide the smell that I haven't showered for two days.

This is like the last blow-out. The last chance to behave like a student, a layabout and a pig.

Now, I am 87% sober because while typing this - and buying music from iTunes - I have been sipping on a Stella in a can. The cold beer is perched and smiling at me from my bedside table.

Please don't think this is what I ordinarily do. I don't usually lie in bed on a Saturday night with the window open, knocking back beer and buying music online.

But I am 29 years and 350-odd days old. You will understand while I behave like this for one last time.

I thought I had rid myself of these urges. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Oh yeah, and this is my new blog. I hope you like it.


dickophile said...

oh thank god. i was having a serious bobby withdrawal. love the new place. its very bobby.

Steven said...

Thirty is the new 40.

Welcome to middle age!

Just Me said...

Good Luck with the new space!

Jack in Sydney said...

Well, this ought to be interesting. (And I hope my comment in your other blog about the movie title was correct and helped you find it.)

Robert said...

Welcome back Sweetie!

notafleetmonkey said...

Is there a hangover this am - best course of action if there is - greasy bacon sandwich at your local sandwich shop that opens on a sunday - I assume there is such an establishment in London?

If you are feeling a need to detox once you've got the midlife crisis style bender out of the way - one of my clients has just done the lemon and maple syrup 5 day detox. Says it was very good.

Your post title makes me wonder - shall I shan't I buy the Daily Mail for the best of Genesis CD in it. I haven't bought a paper for at least 5 years and i'm wondering whether to break that record for a couple of good tracks.

Bobby Van said...

Dickophile: I was going to (try to) make a joke with the word withdrawal but it got smutty. So thanks...

Steven: I am SO middle-aged already, you have no idea...

Just me: thanks

Jack: Also, thanks. The movie was a great suggestion, I need to check it out but I think the events happened before that movie came out. But we'll see. Thanks for pointing me to it though - I will owe you a huge thanks, if it is...

Robert: x x x, Bobby x x x

Notthefleet: I don't know if I could do lemon and syrup for five days!?
But now about Genesis... yes, I popped out to the shops earlier and interrogated this offer by the Mail.
The songs look rather good, except one of them is "Tonight, Tonight, Tonight" which will probably be the edited version of the original. On the Invisible Touch album, the tune goes on for nearly nine minutes. I love it.
I imagine in the newspaper version it's only about 3. The same goes for "Mama", which is fabulous but also is probably edited.
But let's be honest, it's only £1.80, which for a Genesis CD, is good. On balance, I would say go for it. Even though it is the Mail.

czechOUT said...


if you delete BVQ, now BVQ'd won't you miss the chance to look back and taste the Am Not Angst, or at least the events, diary like? That said I remember elsewhere you showed you're a prolific note/thought/diarist, so I guess you have it somewhere else?

So, it is a change of mood, more ponderous thoughts, middle youth crises.

I never said goodbye or made predictions for a return, like I did last time, 'cos I just *knew* you'd appear again.

SO, does that make this "Clone Wars" or "Rise of the Jedi" (I know that's not the proper name but you get what I mean)?


rickisimus2 said...

Nice blog with bright colours. I think it's better than the old blog. And the hunk in the picture is great! ;)

Bobby Van said...

Czech: The Bobby Vanquish blog was - I dunno... you move on.
Whether it's losing weight or sorting out issues. After you've done what you need to, you have to move on.
that blog was done so that I could vent and I have and that's it.
I'll keep it there for a time but in the end will delete it. It's like; 'those were my issues and I worked them over and now they must go.' otherwise it ... hmm, I dunno.
you changed your blog too although kept the URL.
i dunno... i got bored of the other one. or it got tired maybe. refresh and renew. onwards and upwards etc.

ricki: i have no idea who that person is in the picture at the top. it looks like they have a big nose ;-) x

Humming Bird in Hyde said...

Welcum back u. Wherever u go, I'm there, dear :-) xx

czechOUT said...

Yup, I did my refresh some time ago, but it's still the same old crap.

But I look back at my first postings, and it's kinda nice to look back on the journey.

So now it's more of a diary, with pics and sounds, that I can dip into.

Why Blog - I guess I'll post that thought.

Still, glad you're back. There are 2 bloggers whose *writing* (ie the communication of the content, not just the content) I really dig. I'm not one of them, and you don't need any more plaudits. Just concentrate on the gym. After all, you'll soon be 30.


dripdrydonttumble said...

Welcome back Mister.

Without you the cyberworld would be a much more dismal place.

Oh, and turning 30 is great. Things are pretty darn good on the other side.

Come on in, the water is warm and I know you love to swim!

OH... and did you get my final post on your last site.


Bobby Van said...

HBH: Haha - we've been together from the beginning. the original and best x x

Czech: Yes - 30 is approaching pretty quickly. Aah!

dripdry: I did get your comment. It was lovely. thank you... and yes, you owe me a drink ;-) x x x x

dickophile said...

but i love smutty jokes. go ahead. tell me what is was.

Anonymous said...

Bobby my birthday is this Friday.

What day is yours?

Do we share the same birthday??


Timmy said...

I was having Bobby withdrawals and I'm glad you're back for several reasons one of them being I could not remember how to spell Berocca. I bought some when I was in OZ and haven't been able to find any here in Houston.

Alka-Seltzer has come out with a similar product and I wonder if it is any good because I ain't feeling too good today thanx to binging on cheap vodka at a party last night, and having people undress me and making out with someone I just met. It wasn't pretty.

Love the new masthead. Very sexy.

seahorse said...

3 words. Vol kak.

seahorse said...

3 words. Vol kak.

Bobby Van said...

Dick: Something about "withdrawal's not a bad thing - unless the guy wasn't expecting you to do it." sis. sis. smutty. not funny.

Carl!: no, it's next week... but that means we're both Geminis apparently. and you're 6/6 what are you going to do for your birthday? have a huge party i hope?

Timmy: getting drunk on cheap vodka, making out with someone you just met AND getting stripped naked?! ohmygod, you've done the triple! well done... x x

Seahorse. 2 words. really?