In less than a week I fly out to Cape Town for my 30th and I need to do some clothes shopping.
In this respect I am a pathetic gayer because clothes shopping bores me. Today is no different from the hundreds of times before.
I arrive on Oxford Street, one of the busiest and crowded shopping districts in the world.
Crowd is the operative word. Why do people reach the top of the escalator and stop? Why do people walk so slowly down the road?
Anyway, the operation is to start at Selfridges and shop my way to Oxford Circus.
Except the same thing happens every time. I walk into Selfridges, there are far too many women dressed in veils fighting over £10,000 handbags, so I leave.
I end up in the HMV buying CDs and DVDs. Every bloody time.
I get bored in HMV, mainly due to the price of everything - £25 ($50) for Season 2 of Family Guy! No wonder people are copying it onto the net and circulating it for free. Greedy Hollywood bastards.
So I leave there, stop by the M&S and then go home.
Damn. maybe next time I'll buy some clothes.
At some point along the way, I do end up in the Apple store where I carry out some advertising and shameless self-promotion.
I left it there and I don't think anyone saw it either...
Oh yeah, and on the way back to Bond Street tube station I spot this Ferrari. This is another indication of my ungayness.
First I reject clothes shopping and now I am lusting after cars.
This car is a 599GT Fiorano and it costs around £185,000.
Actually, I am not lusting after this Ferrari. I think it looks like a frog. I don't like it. If you were to point a gun at my head and force to to purchase a Ferrari it would have to be this one...
Of course we all know that this is not the Magnum PI Ferrari. That was a 308 GTS.
This baby, above, is the Ferrari 288 GTO. This Ferrari has a 4litre V8 (that's like saying it has an 11-inch cock) and when it goes fast it sounds like very scary motorbike. It is breathtaking.
Anyway, enough about cars. Although maybe I should start a blog about cars. "Weird gay dude, writes about fast cars", could really be a ratings winner? Maybe?
Back on the Central Line, you won't fucking believe who I run into. Look! It's Michael Jackson...
Oh yeah. And another thing - I am sick of waiting to turn 30 so I made a unilaterial decision about this, I think I made it while I was on the loo.
I have rescheduled my birthday. It is now happening on June 4th 2008 because in Britain the date will be 040608. This means the celebrations will now take place on Wednesday and not the following week, as previously noted.
Drop me a note and I'll let you have the address where you can drop off the Ferrari, all nicely wrapped with a full tank of petrol. Thanks.