Monday, 30 June 2008

Desktop icons

I'm not very good when it comes to being told what to do. This doesn't help much, given that I work at a place where the Healthy & Safety brigade are pretty strident.

In fact, my colleague Lucy and I are both very unaccommodating when it comes to being told what we should and shouldn't do. This is why we use the paper shredder as a doorstop and piles of tapes as bookends.

As you can imagine, both of these are definite no-nos.

We've also been asked by our office Health and Safety zealot not to leave bags on the floor (they could block the path to the fire exit) and not to pile reams of paper next to the printer (they could fall and hurt someone).

My response is standard; "well, if you need to move them then please do..."

Funnily enough this is not the best way to engender cordial working relations which is why, I think, the Heath and Safety fanatics are out to get us.

Today I was told that my desk was a health hazard and that I should think about cleaning it up. It's no surprise that this suggestion went down like a bucket of cold sick.

Does that look like a mess to you? I mean, do they want us to do some work or exist in some ridiculously sterile environment devoid of character and creativity?

That's how I left it to go home and that's how it's going to stay, ropey tennis racket and all.

Health and Safety my arse. God, it's feels so satisfying to say that.

12 comments:

fleetmonkey said...

That desk does need a tidy or a bin bag. I wouldnt go as far as LP's perfectly placed stapler etc -but it would be nice to see what material the desk is made from.

Bobby Cox said...

Fleet: It's obvious that the thing is made from desk?! I think it has character. I am not tidying it. You can come and do it, if you like. Be my slave. Wear cellophane.

Just Me said...

Your desk looks about as organized as mine. But who cares right? As long as I can find what I need I am fine.

Timmy said...

I think Health & Safety made sure you received the faulty fork. Just sayin'.

Bobby Cox said...

Mai Kai: Snap. To me that desk is the most organised bit of furniture in the whole office and yes, we know where everything is - and within reaching distance too!

Timmy: I think they did. Fuckers. I smell a conspiracy actually.

dickophile said...

maybe they wanted you to choke and die. its the conspiracy man!

p.s. why the tennis racket?

Steph said...

Not sure whether you realised/whether it's intentional that your posts since Thursday replace each other. One can't read yesterday's or the day before...

wayne said...

I used to have a sign in my bedroom when I was a teenager - "Please don't tidy my mess, you'll foul up the system".

Though now I'm older I can see that "fuck up the system" would have looked better.

P.S. I think there's a glitch in your blog Bobby, each new post overrides the previous new post, or somefink ...

Bobby Cox said...

dick: the racket was because we were buggering about with a plan to do something regarding tennis and SW19 but we abandoned the idea because it was cheesy.
But not before we knocked a few balls about the office and pissed some people off.

Steph and Wayne: Yes there is a glitch on the blog and it's called a "Bobby thought that post was shit so he deleted it" glitch.

Anonymous said...

Your desk looks like a nuclear bomb went off somewhere and all the junk sort of fell from the sky and landed on and around your desk.

What about hanging a sign up that says, "Organized Chaos" above it?

Hey,... just a suggestion...

Carl

Bobby Cox said...

Carl: I could put up a sign that says "organised chaos" but it would look a little silly now because I've tidied it.
The bastards won. I got lobotomised. I now follow all orders.
Fuckers.

Anonymous said...

You are now like a robot like in movie the Stepford Wives. You have to walk around and take orders and in a monotone voice say, "Yes, sir....Whatever you say sir..."

Carl