I'm still in Cape Town.
Last night I was in a club, a club called Navigaytion. Because they wanted to call it Navigation but since it's a club that's mostly frequented by homosexual men, they changed altered the name to Navigaytion.
Do you see how they've added that extra 'Y'? Clever...
Anyway, so Navigaytion is a club above the Bronx Action Bar. And anyone who's a gay who's been to Cape Town will have been to Bronx. This is because Bronx is the only gay bar in Cape Town.
Can I please just say that I am the James Bond of gay? The same can be said of me, as it can of Commander Bond - I always get my man.
Do you know when you're on the dancefloor and you see someone and in your mind you think "dude, you're mine."
And then you dance over to them a bit and they catch your eye and then you smile and and and...
Well last night I was on the dancefloor in Navigaytion (with a 'Y') and I saw this guy and I thought "dude, you're mine" and I moved over to him a bit.
Anyway about 30 minutes later we were in a corner near the dancefloor and he was kissing my neck and I thought to myself, "I always get my man."
I'm sorry if I sound like a smug cunt but you know what it's like in Gay Club Dance world. It's bloody survival of the fittest. He was quite fit with great pectoral development.
This picture above is what the inside of the club is like.
Anyway so while I was interacting with Pec Man I thought it but didn't say it; "kissing you is fun because it's totally boosting my self esteem." We didn't spend the whole evening together or even leave in the same car but for about 20 minutes we were married. It was great. We swapped numbers.
What wasn't great what happened about an hour earlier.
One of the barman in Navigaytion (with a 'Y') was quite cute and had a Very Nice Body.
Anyway, between Navigaytion and Bronx there are a few staircases which connect the two venues. In one of the stairwells, while on the way to the loo, I happened upon the cute barman with a great body giving a punter a blow-job, who was not really my type but good looking.
And when you see this, a wave of emotions crash around you.
First is envy. Obviously. "I wish he was bloody doing that to me." And then you get a bit irritated because of the envy. And then you get a bit jealous. And then you think "that's really not cool" but you only think that because you're a bit jealous that two young hotdogs are making out like that.
And in the second that you've spotted them and felt all of that, you do an about-turn and walk away instantly. You do this because you want to make it obvious that you're not interested in what they're doing and it doesn't bother you.
But while walking away you get a little more irritated. Just because.
Maybe they didn't even see me. Hopefully they carried on and some letch came and tried to join in and ruined their fun. Me, bitter? You betcha!
It's like standing in the queue for a cubicle in a club and out of one of the stalls walk two half-naked men who could pass as Abercrombie models. There's always a little something inside you that dies because you know they weren't in there talking about the weather.
It's a shit feeling. Whatever.
Here's another random picture...
This is a bit like a game of poker. This blog that is. I mean, you don't want to play all your best cards at once. So I'm going to save something for tomorrow. It involves a tattoo and you won't believe your eyes. Seriously.