About to step onto the treadmill which is going to mean 30 minutes of pure, unadulterated running.
I would blast myself with some Kelly Rowland song for inspiration but god that's so boring now...
30 minutes of cardio down, 371 calories burnt and 3,54 miles run.
Chris warns me about "mind fog". This is apparently when you go mad, basically.
By the way, Chris is helping me at the gym so that I can look good naked. Chris has good pedigree of making men look good naked because he nearly ended up on the cover of Men's Health.
In the end he lost out to a British soldier who'd apparently gunned down some militant gentleman with a rocket launcher on his shoulder in Iraq. Hey ho.
Anyway, so mind fog or brain fod or whatever it's called (see I've gone a little queer already...) is from a lack of something and you go a bit wonky in the head.
I don't know why Chris is warning me about mind mist (?) but there you go.
Poor Mel is sitting on one of the couches in hallway because she's feeling a little odd. Stomach cramps or something.
I suggest that maybe she's suffering from brain bog. She just looks at me oddly.
I regale Mel with the story about some guy who, before offering to shake my hand on the stairs, was naked and cupping himself. This makes Mel laugh and now she's feeling better.
This counts as A Good Deed.
Checking the Ministry of Defence website about becoming a soldier. You know...
On second thoughts, Army sounds too much like scout camp.
I mean, don't get me wrong, these guys do a great and noble job but just as I would go mad at being shouted at by the drill sergeant so they would go mad at having to do my work in a building where mice run across your feet.
Okay, a soldier's job is more shit and requires more bravery than mine does.
Katie keeps using the word totes which is short for totally apparently. And then there's phenom which is short for phenomenal. Is this what all the kids are using now? I can't keep up.
This makes me feel old so I slug a protein shake and drop some pill to speed up my metabolism.
In a meeting and we're writing on Post-It notes which someone is sticking on walls and I am wondering if it really was Romy and Michelle who invented these little bits of paper that are sticky on one end.
On the phone to someone in South Africa who says that people are so excited about the elections on Wednesday that they're foaming at the mouth to cast their vote.
I think he means chomping at the bit.
Gym, gym, gym more fucking gym.
Fuck, did you know that it's like 20 April or something. Do you know what that means? Shit.
Wondering where I am going to see in 2010 on 30 December. I have done London for three years running.
It goes something like:
'99 - '00: On a balcony on a beautiful warm evening overlooking Cape Town.
'00 - '01: On the same balcony on a beautifully warm evening overlooking Cape Town.
'01 - '02: In Club 55, Green Point, Cape Town.
'02 - '03: In Green Point, Cape Town having a very low-key evening after nearly killing myself in a car accident the weekend before.
Er, let's forget about New Year's Eves actually.
And besides, Happy New Year by Abba is such a depressing and sad song. I think I should turn it off...
Sometimes it's cathartic to wallow in sadness and induce depression. It sharpens you up for the good times.
In my little book of tricks I have written; "remember today's high is tomorrow's low."
Haven't put the Super Trouper LP away just yet. Before I go to rest my weary head Annifrid and Agnetha must sing to me...
And I understand, you've come to shake my hand.
I apologise, if it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self confidence
But you see..."
(Come on, all together now...)
"The winner takes it
"The winner takes it