Urgh. Another day and I mean no offence to anyone who answers to 21 April as their birthday but I'm not feeling it today.
I'm sure to some people today is a lovely day but not in the Bobby household. I would rather roll over and pull my floral eye mask* back on but instead I get out of bed to face the impending doom that is today.
* = I don't have a floral mask.
The man who drives the Central Line train says something about another train not working so we're all delayed "severely" but I just don't. care. at. all. Instead we sit at Marble Arch station doing nothing.
And people huff and puff and I don't know why they don't get off the bloody train and walk if they're so late.
Humans and sheep have a lot in common. Lemmings too.
Do you know that you should never make your kids do ballet or gymnastics because you'll send them to an early grave. This is serious stuff.
Alex and I are discussing this because the meeting happening around us is far too boring to take a meaningful part in.
Basically ballet and gymnastics are all about perfection which is impossible to achieve.
So the poor fucking neurotic kid goes to bed thinking "if only I'd pushed myself that much more, it would have made the difference between thunderous applause and thunderous applause and cheering."
And then they exert themselves even more and no-one cheers and then they have to starve themselves and ohmygod, you've fucked the kid up.
Gymnastics and ballet are about striving for artistic perfection which is impossible.
Predictably Alex and I are told to keep quiet which I think is outrageous. Think of all the poor children we could be saving.
Today's song is by Edwin Starr and you can easily song along...
What is it good for?
Oh yeah, speaking of music... like mixing prints was once acceptable so it was tradition to publish your 25 most-played songs on iTunes. I think this tradition passed me by so for the sake of bla bla.
Knock yourselves out...
(Double click on pic = make big)
Yes, I was listening to Toto when I took the grab. Yes, it's an upsetting list. It has a lot to do with what I listen to in the gym.
I would show you from 26 and onwards but I think they list is even more abdominal.
I can't believe that I'm suddenly at gym and Chris is making me work so hard that I know that tomorrow morning I am going to have to put on my clothes like someone whose arms are too short.
Chris says the best way to do weights is to imagine that someone has a gun to your head and if you give up, they will shoot you.
This shit isn't for sissies.
What the fuck is all the shouting from the neighbours below? Has one of them buggered the other?
Er, no. It's the bloody football.
I think they're do far better were I to lend them some of my rugby-themed videos*.
They'd be shocked at first but once you've tightened the ball-gag so that they can't scream it's easier for both parties.
And rope burn is easily excused.
* = I don't have any rugby-themed videos. I did once have an oval-shaped ball though but Dr Saltzmann did a great job. You wouldn't notice anything now.
I have to be up early so...I'm off.
And remember if you're in South Africa tomorrow - it doesn't matter who you vote for, just get out there and make your mark for democracy!
Viva democracy! Viva South Africa, viva!
(It's just a T-shirt. Don't assume anything. Of all the parties outside South Africa House on 17 April, the ANC were the only ones kind enough to give me a T-shirt)