Thursday, 16 April 2009

Thursday, 16 April 09

Standing on the edge about to dive in. Then I do.

Thirty lengths completed and I decide to get out. This is enough for the first double-day training.

I'm in GNC to buy some protein shake and damn the guy behind the counter. I end up spending £30 on some shit that will make me thin, cut and gorgeous. Allegedly.
Damn you hot man with cute face and huge arms, damn you.

In a meeting but am handed a note telling me that Emma is downstairs.
Emma has been reading some silly website called "Am Not Blog" and before I know it, we're having a chat about this particular site...

Emma is on holiday from California and is in London to see the sights. Like that crumbling palace where an old woman who wears a crown lives, some antiquated and dusty art at the British Museum and er, me. Go figure.

Talking to Emma and it is weird that there this lovely person who I've never met before but has seen me in my underwear and has read about er... well.

Emma has gifts (everynote please note and I'll say it again...) Emma has gifts!
One of which is a T-shirt from Budapest.

Back in the office and Alex says that everyone is now smitten with some guy called Rob Pattinson.

Picture of Robert PattinsonPersonally, I'm not feeling it at all actually.

Am debating whether Minis are cars for male advertising executives who're in a mid-life crisis with a coke habit?

The more I look at it, the more I like it, the more I think I want one...

I feel I may be on a ledge and need talking down.

Tell the Office Manager Wizard (I love you) that I am going to be taking leave from June 3 to June 16th.
This puts me in a very good mood so I must now listen to the 08 Disco Edit of the Freemasons "When You Touch Me."
My mood is elevated further because baby, when you touch me on my bodyyyyyyyyyyy........ etc.

I'm sure that the guy who hangs around in the gym showers actually lives there. I might ask him actually...

Can I be dangerously middle class and recommend this book to you?

(I imagine recommending books to be very middle class because it's what mums and dads do around their dinner tables.)

The reason I think you'll like that book is because Marina Hyde is cynical and rude about celebrities and all their shit. Like these two little nuggets:

Marina on the rising popularity of Kabbalah: "The Little System of Bullshit that Could".
Marina on celebrity drug addiction: "The only fate worse for a celebrity with a drug habit is the threat they could be taken under Elton John's wing".

I'm not sure where or when I'm going to wear the T-shirt Emma gave me but it's hilarious nonetheless.

It is, of course, hugely ironic.


fleetmonkey said...

So Emma tracked you down at work and just summoned you to reception. For future reference - as long as I bring you pressies I won't be counted as a stalker?

That Tshirt reminds me of the one I got from colleagues when I left my first job - it had "you've been a bad boy - go to my bedroom now" - of course they bought it in a ladies small. At 6'3 without the body or the campness to wear it as a crop top it has remained in the wardrobe since.

People suggest you don't go food shopping when hungry as it makes you buy more; maybe you should "take care of yourself" before you go shopping where the hot totty works?

Anonymous said...

I don't know what my worry was...It looks like it is A-Ok for polite company. ( nice fit )

Mr Fleet,
Not only do you have to bring presents, he demands cash also... He failed to mention that. ;-)

Anonymous said...

All that farting about in the gym seems to be paying off !

Joseph said...

I think Pattinson looked better in Harry Potter. I so wanted to shag him in that maze.

A good mate of mine went to school and was mates with Pattinson (Harrow, apparently). Small world innit.