Standing on the edge about to dive in. Then I do.
Thirty lengths completed and I decide to get out. This is enough for the first double-day training.
I'm in GNC to buy some protein shake and damn the guy behind the counter. I end up spending £30 on some shit that will make me thin, cut and gorgeous. Allegedly.
Damn you hot man with cute face and huge arms, damn you.
In a meeting but am handed a note telling me that Emma is downstairs.
Emma has been reading some silly website called "Am Not Blog" and before I know it, we're having a chat about this particular site...
Emma is on holiday from California and is in London to see the sights. Like that crumbling palace where an old woman who wears a crown lives, some antiquated and dusty art at the British Museum and er, me. Go figure.
Talking to Emma and it is weird that there this lovely person who I've never met before but has seen me in my underwear and has read about er... well.
Emma has gifts (everynote please note and I'll say it again...) Emma has gifts!
One of which is a T-shirt from Budapest.
Back in the office and Alex says that everyone is now smitten with some guy called Rob Pattinson.
Personally, I'm not feeling it at all actually.
Am debating whether Minis are cars for male advertising executives who're in a mid-life crisis with a coke habit?
The more I look at it, the more I like it, the more I think I want one...
I feel I may be on a ledge and need talking down.
Tell the Office Manager Wizard (I love you) that I am going to be taking leave from June 3 to June 16th.
This puts me in a very good mood so I must now listen to the 08 Disco Edit of the Freemasons "When You Touch Me."
My mood is elevated further because baby, when you touch me on my bodyyyyyyyyyyy........ etc.
I'm sure that the guy who hangs around in the gym showers actually lives there. I might ask him actually...
Can I be dangerously middle class and recommend this book to you?
(I imagine recommending books to be very middle class because it's what mums and dads do around their dinner tables.)
The reason I think you'll like that book is because Marina Hyde is cynical and rude about celebrities and all their shit. Like these two little nuggets:
Marina on the rising popularity of Kabbalah: "The Little System of Bullshit that Could".
Marina on celebrity drug addiction: "The only fate worse for a celebrity with a drug habit is the threat they could be taken under Elton John's wing".
I'm not sure where or when I'm going to wear the T-shirt Emma gave me but it's hilarious nonetheless.
It is, of course, hugely ironic.