Monday, 27 April 2009

Monday, 27 April 09

08:46
The song I have in my head when I wake up is the Freemasons' club remix of the Moby track "Disco Lies."

It's easy to tell that I have the full mix playing in my head and not the Club Edit because the latter only contains the second verse once.

The song in my head contains the bridge between the second verse and the refrain. That means it's the 9'03 Club Mix. Everyone knows that.

09:27
On the treadmill at gym running at a constant pace with a 2.5 inch incline. Shayna Steele is singing as I jog; "You said you need me... that was just a lie!"

The iPod shuffle I have for long-distance running generally contains club remixes. Just so that you know.

10:56
Walking through an empty Westfield having a look at the duvet covers in the White Company. In this shop duvet covers start at around £120.

Fuck that.

11:25
At Balans in Westfield with Nix and we're discussing the inherent insecurities within middle class homosexuals. My eggs are scrambled, Nix's are poached.

13:42
Leaving GNC at Bond Street Tube Station with a large tub of whey protein in a bag.

Just outside the store there is a man selling satellite TV. He says "hey, I see you have all those gym supplements but have you ever thought about getting Sky?"

"Um... no. Thanks. But. Um.... What?!"

I smile but it takes about 4 seconds to register what he's just said. I say no thanks again and walk on.

It is only when I am half way down the escalator that I realise his genius. He's using non sequiturs as a device to catch peoples' attention.

This is the sales technique of the future. You read about it here first.

"Hello Sir, my uncle has a pet aardvark and have you ever thought about subscribing to Reader's Digest?"

"I never use the tumble dryer because it's always such a waste of electricity but any donation, however small, could really help the Salvation Army."

14:27
In the gym and doing chest flys using the green Swiss ball.
(This is not a non sequitur but a statement of fact.)

15:52
Home. Bored. Decide to watch a movie. Dunno what movie to watch.

Sitting on the couch at 4pm watching movies makes me feel like some lay-about social benefit sponge. Maybe if I watch a suitably high brow film these feelings will subside.

16:17
No matter how many times I try, I can never manage to sit through more than 20 minutes of Citizen Kane.

It can't be because it's in the black and white because Sunset Boulevard and Dr Strangelove are two of my most favourite movies eva.

17:45
And that was a lovely snooze!

19:57
Dishwasher, bills, banking, bla bla fart.

21:48
Another day is wasted because Luke Guldan is still not married to me and I am another day further from him.


"Our kids play howdy-doody...
As the sun sets in the west.
A picture out of Better Homes & Gardens magazine.

Far from Skid Row
I dream we'll go...
Somewhere that's green."

2 comments:

MadeInScotland said...

Oh, it all seems so suddenly, Seymour.

ahoj

Bobby Cox said...

Scotty: I have absolutely no idea who Seymour is nor have I ever listened to or owned the CD soundtrack to the 1987 smash musical movie directed by Frank Oz, starring Rick Moranis and Ellen Greene.
You're speaking in code.

Oh and Fleets - I haven't published what you said because something very obvious dawned on me...
One words: credits! AAAAHHH!