Tuesday 28 April 09

08:52
This is a fairly respectable time to rise and that's what I do.

10:51
The song for today is the Freemasons' Club Mix of Beyonce's Ring the Alarm.

And I'm finished my morning run.
Time: 44'00
Distance: 5,37 kms
Calories: 563

Lick that bitches.

13:20
Katie an I are on the 4th floor in Liberty where there's an exhibition of prints by Storm Thorgerson who is the king of album cover designers.

In my opinion / IMO this is the greatest album cover of all time (Pink Floyd - "Wish You Were Here") but Storm is also responsible for this...

Hello! How cool is that?

13:27
There's a polished steel orb which means I just have to...



14:10
Katie and I decide to have lunch at Leon. We agree on the Halloumi wrap and avoid the Mexican salsa one. You never know...

15:21
Finding the most ludicrous name for a death metal band is something I enjoy and make a point of doing when I am in the HMV on Oxford Street.

So far the well-known Greek rock outfit "Rotting Christ" hold the title although the competition is, as always, pretty fierce. Here are three offerings I find in the metal section today.

First is Dying Fetus. Ooh, scary! Dead unborn babies is a sure-fire reason to be offended.

Homocidal Retribution seems to be the tune everyone's talking about off the album. According to Wikipedia the song is unusual because it has a music video.

The opening lines of the song are:
Lost my faith in justice
Time does not heal this pain
Defiled my existence
Recurring nightmare.
See if you can sing along then.

Does the lead singer really sound like that or have they fiddled with his voice? Do they do ballads?

So many questions but there is no time for answers because we're onto the next contenders in today's race and it's Asbestos Death.

I can't find much about them, only that they're classified as sludge metal and er, that's it.

None of their music is on iTunes so I'm going to hazard a guess that maybe their signature tune is "Coughing Up Blood."
Or "Mr Fix-it's coming on Tuesday to replace that toxic stuff in the loft."

But it's the final act which I think could take today's prize (the Streisand back catalogue*)

Yes, all the way from San Diego in California, I give you Cattle Decapitation.

This album is probably their most famous (so says iTunes) and I am particularly intrigued by the song "We Are Horrible People."

They are also responsible for the Saturday night pub-pleaser "Testicular Manslaughter." Ho hum.

* = there is no prize actually.

17:21
Back in the gym (we're a Twice-a-day Tina, we are...) and it's full but nicely so. This judgement is made based on the quality of the talent.

Chris is there and Liam is too although they don't count.

(FYI: I have completely gone off Liam for the foreseeable future. The "will we, won't we" game became so boring. O. V. A. H.)

So Liam and I survey the gym for talent and even though we have nothing scheduled Chris helps with back and shoulders.

19:49
I've washed socks, Hoovered under the bed because the cleaner never does it, packed my gym bag and had three cups of green tea.

Fuck. I haven't had an alcoholic drink since 17 April. No wonder I feel so uneasy.

20:21
In the midst of our DIY Sally and I decide to combine two old and unloved Ikea lamps for comedy effect. The result makes me smile every time I look at it...

To turn it off, Sally has to stand on a step ladder.

It's absolutely ridiculous. It's perfect.

22:31
About to push "Publish" when it occurs to me. Tomorrow I am going to insulate my life from all talk of the gym, music and particularly the Freemasons.

For a laugh I might get my knob out. To show you that I'm also going to need a very long lens. Obviously.

Okay, smutty sexual innuendo is banned tomorrow as well.